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We’ve all heard the discussions — the differences between introverts and extroverts. When it comes to networking, extroverts seem to have it made, don’t they? They’re so fun and energetic and conversation comes so effortless. Networking just comes naturally for them. Introverts aren’t so fortunate; they’re more reserved and much less social. How can they ever hope to compete in the world of networking, where the whole point is to go out and mingle with others? How can introverts be effective at networking?

It seems to me that introverts get a bit wrapped up in this image of who they are and how they are supposed to act in certain situations. I’m an introvert, I’m meant to work alone. I don’t play well with others. I don’t have the necessary skills to work my way up the ladder. The stereotype is that introverts spend all of their time analyzing and can’t find it in themselves to open up. To people who think like this and believe that they’re restricted by innate characteristics, I have one thing to say: Introverts, get over yourselves. This kind of thinking gets you nowhere; it’s counterproductive, and having a defeatist attitude will get you nowhere.

The truth is, I know your pain. I know it all too well. At heart I’ve always been an introvert. When I was younger, I preferred the comfort of being alone over the idea of mingling with others. It’s safe to say that overall, I genuinely disliked being around people. Honestly, I felt that people had nothing to offer me — and, I suppose, that I had nothing to offer them.

I finally realized that these feelings — this way of thinking — was doing me no good. The truth was that I would have to mingle with others at some point. I couldn’t stay wrapped up in my own little world forever. So I made an effort to “break out of my shell”, as people call it. It took a little work and a little effort, but it’s safe to say that I am a more social person now. Communicating with others is no longer a chore; to be honest, I actually enjoy it, both offline and online. I’ve since realized that others do have a lot to offer; and I have a lot to offer them as well.

Of course, I’m still an introvert. I still enjoy my free time. I can’t explain why, but from time to time I need to be alone. Alone with my thoughts. Or alone to read. Or alone to play some video games. I need time to do what I want to do.

Looking back, I think part of my reluctance with mingling with others was that, to a certain degree, I was actually scared of people. Part of me was afraid that I may make a fool of myself. And another part of me was afraid that others might feed off this and humiliate me while I’m in a vulnerable state. However, I’ve slowly discovered that most people don’t have a desire to bring others down. Most aren’t out to get you and bring you down.

We blow most of our fears out of proportion. Our social fears are no different. The truth is this — introverts, if you’re worried about networking and wondering how you’re going to make it in that scary and unfamiliar world, you are going to have to make an effort. You are going to have to open up and leave yourself vulnerable. You have to put yourself out there.

Sure, you might open your mouth and embarrass yourself. But if you stick with it, it gets better. The more you open up and communicate with others, the easier it becomes. Like all things, it gets better with practice. So throw yourself out there; that’s what the extroverts are doing. If you want to play in their world, you need to play their game.

Photo credit: tamelyn via Flickr Creative Commons

I want to start this post by saying that I do not regret going to college. And I would never deter anyone from attending. However, I do feel that there are some mistakes I made in college that I am paying for now, a little later than 2 years after graduation. I suppose this post can only benefit those who have not attended college yet or those who are still early enough in their college careers to turn the ship around. Or those who are on the 7-year plan.

So let it begin…

Mistake #1: Choosing a Major I Wasn’t Interested In (At The Time)

When I first enrolled at Louisiana Tech University, I had decided I was going to major in journalism. And then I went to general studies. And then computer science. And then I finally settled on marketing. Why? Because I wanted to graduate and I figured a business degree would be useful someday. Marketing just seemed the most interesting of the business disciplines. Sure, I have an interest and passion for marketing now, but this wasn’t the case when I was in college. This mistake is somewhat related to #2. So without further delay…

Mistake #2: Leaving My Education In The Hands Of My Professors

There was a time when I read nothing but fiction, fiction, fiction. Now, I read mostly business and marketing-related books. But in college, I didn’t go that extra mile to further my education on my own. I listened to the lectures and read the required texts all for the sake of passing the test. However, after reading books by authors like Seth Godin and David Meerman Scott, I’ve since discovered that most of what I learned in my business courses was obsolete. These two guys have taught me so much more than my lectures and classroom texts ever did. Please, go that extra mile. Pick up a book related to your subject. Professors teach the same subjects year after year. They teach the same material because it’s familiar and rehearsed. But this is your future we’re talking about. No matter what your major is, read books related to your major. You’ll be glad you did.

Mistake #3: Failing To Network And Get Involved

I made friends in college. But I didn’t network, I didn’t join any organizations. In that regard, my college resume is blank. Looking back, I wish I’d joined some organizations and taken the opportunity to hold leadership roles. But I didn’t. It’s nobody’s fault but my own.

Mistake #4: Not Attempting To Get An Internship

I never tried to get an internship. Why? I already had a part-time job in college. The job wasn’t relevant to anything I wanted to do in the future, but I decided to keep it. I should have been more bold. And you should too. Try for an internship. Every bit of real-world experience helps.

Mistake #5: Not Developing Relationships With Professors

If I needed a letter of recommendation from an academic professional, I’d have no one to turn to. I’m serious. Maybe I could turn to the dean of my department, only because he might want to help out an alum from his department. But I’m not sure there’s a single professor who would remember me. And that’s my fault for not making myself more memorable. I shied away from my professors. Why? I’m not sure. But I completed my assignments and usually spoke to the professor only when I had a question or concern about something related to class. Looking back, I should have gone a step further and discussed my assignments in more detail with my professors. I should have shown more interest and developed relationships. Maybe I’ll work on that if I ever go to grad school (that’s if I can get the recommendations to get in! Ha!)

I’m sure I made more mistakes, but these seem to be the most critical ones I can think of. Notice that I said nothing about joining a fraternity in this post. If your concern is meeting people and developing meaningful relationships, you can do that outside of a fraternity.

If you can think of some mistakes you made in college that you are now paying for, please share in the comments.

P.S. I’m not talking about that night you drank too much and went streaking the quad. Let’s save those mistakes for another discussion.

It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

I discovered the true value of this saying the hard way. When I was laid off, I realized that the only connections I had were in my current industry, which had just taken a hard hit. Everyone I knew was looking out for himself, just as I was looking out for myself. I had just moved from Louisiana to Texas and had no intentions of returning to my home state. The only problem was that I hadn’t done any networking in Texas.

Because of my lack of networking, I was basically cold-calling for jobs. Sure, I was responding to ads I’d seen on jobboards, but so was everyone else. I had no inside connection anywhere. It was a long four months of unemployment.

I learned a valuable lesson. Or so I thought. Even after finally landing a job, I still didn’t start networking. I guess I got content with having a profession and a paycheck.

But then I started thinking about the economy. Recovery is coming much later than everyone had hoped for. People are still losing jobs. The job market is extremely competitive.

And I asked myself a question: What if you get laid off again?

Now I make a conscious effort to network, both online and offline.

Take it from me, you don’t want to get caught with your pants down. As numerous other people have said, you can not put off networking until you need a job. At that point, it’s too late. Instead, always be looking, no matter how good you think your current gig is. Build relationships. Give yourself an alternate route.

Network, network, network! Give yourself a chance. Put yourself out there.

P.S. After writing this post, I realized I should say that I thought about writing this after reading a by Dan Schawbel on the same subject.