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One day when I was out of town, I stopped by McDonald’s to grab a quick breakfast. When asked by the cashier, I ordered a McGriddle, a large coffee, and a hashbrown. The lady immediately asked me if I’d like to make that a meal deal, which, of course, would be cheaper. I told her that I would indeed like her to make it a meal deal. I mean, who wouldn’t, right? We’re all in the business of getting more bang for our buck.

The more I thought about this, I wondered, was that a stupid question? Now, bear with me. I know everyone says that there is no such thing as a stupid question. And I am in no way implying that the lady herself was stupid.

But come on, might that be a stupid question? She’s offering me the same meal for a cheaper price. I am in no way inconvenienced by this change in the transaction. I do not have to wait any longer. My order is not altered in any way, other than how it is rung up and charged to me.

Can you honestly think that there is ANY reason that I would say no? If there is NO reason that a customer should object to our adding value to a transaction, should we even ask? Or is asking a marketing a tool? Is it a way of communicating an increase in value and making the customer aware that we’re looking out for them?

If that’s the case, maybe it wasn’t such a stupid question after all.

Having read and enjoyed Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith, I decided to try to find some videos of the authors talking more about their philosophies on social media. During the Q&A section of this (50-minute) video, an audience member made a great point. To paraphrase, the audience member made the point that when the Internet was first catching on, the great thing about it was that it was private. People could browse and engage via the Internet while maintaining a level of anonymity. Now, the Internet is becoming more and more transparent. Many of our activities on the Internet are forever — it’s there for all to see, thanks to our friend Google. And it’s no secret that Facebook is doing all that it can to become more open every single day. Think of your interactions on the Web as your “permanent record” now.

After the audience member made up great point, he followed with this question: How do you make people move from that privacy-mindset about the Internet to the open mindset that we’re now moving toward?

Brogan eventually concluded that that’s a tough issue and was unable to give a straight-forward answer to the issue. That’s because you can’t make someone accept it. People don’t like change; some are always going to cling to the way things were.

But they need to accept it. Because the Internet’s opening up, whether we like it or not. There’s no use in talking about whether it’s fair or unfair. This is one of those cases where you’re better off forgetting about “fair” and worrying about what is and what is not.

It is what it is.

I understand the concerns with the open Web. It’s not just about security and identity issues. It’s also about having the freedom to express ourselves without consequences. If someone wants to learn about you, chances are that he’s going to research you through Google, Facebook, or Twitter first. The problem with this transparency is that you never know what will turn someone off. How personal should you be? If someone gets a chance to discover your religious or political views before getting a chance to know you, will he even give you a chance? What if you’re profane or vulgar in an intimate setting but know how to flip the switch over when in a corporate setting? Will someone get the wrong impression about you? By the way, if you think having different personas in these scenarios is simply being two-faced, I’d argue that all of us act differently in different settings with different people. You likely do the same thing; perhaps you’re not aware of it.

As I said, I understand these concerns because they’re some of the same concerns that I have. However, I feel that these fears cause us to be less human. Some of us may tend to hide certain parts of ourselves that we may not hide so much in offline interactions. If I unintentionally say something insensitive or politically incorrect among my friends in an offline setting, word of my slip-up might stop at that group of friends. Or maybe we’ll tell our significant others or some friends outside of the group, but chances are that the whole world won’t be notified. But if I make the same mistake on Facebook or Twitter or somewhere else online, it’s chronicled for all to see, and concrete proof of my slip-up is readily available for distribution.

So we hold back. We reserve. We make sure to conduct ourselves in a corporate-friendly manner, and as a result, we dehumanize ourselves and our networks.

But when the Web opens all of us up to everyone, can that humanity be restored? When everyone is under the same microscope and living under the same fear, can a simple slip-up or differences of philosophy be forgiven and forgotten? Could it teach us to be more tolerant? Or will the open Web only feed our ignorance and prejudices?

This is all just thought with no definite answer. Obviously, I hope that the open Web can add a degree of humanity to our online interactions. But I can’t predict one way or the other.

If there were only one thing that I took away from reading Trust Agents, it would be this: the fundamentals of communication and building trust have not changed. The world of TV, newspaper, and radio advertising that we grew up with were actually quite brief when you look at the history of business and mankind. The best way to build trust now is to get back to basics, to treat people like people and remember that they are people. (Remember, they are not perfect; neither are you).

I’ve accepted that my friends are not perfect offline. Why should I expect them to be perfect online? Why should we expect anyone to be such?

What are your thoughts on this? Could the open Web bring a fundamental shift, or am I just daydreaming?

Imagine this scenario:

It’s your typical workday morning. You hit the snooze button a few times and struggle to pull yourself from the bed in time to shower and groom and dress yourself before heading off to the office. You think about making some coffee before you leave, but you don’t quite feel up to the task and you’ve got a few bucks burning a hole in your pocket, so you decide to stop somewhere to get a cup of java.

Before getting to the office, you stop at your local coffee shop. You’re greeted as soon as you walk in the door. The people behind the counter are full of energy, happy and smiling, and eager to make you the perfect drink to kick your day off. You make a special request — something not on the menu — and the barista just smiles and accommodates. She makes sure that your drink is made just the way you want it. And she delivers it to you — still smiling — and thanks you for stopping in and wishes you a good day when you walk out the door. You say thank you back and head out the door and rush into your car, hoping that you make it to the office in time.

Now imagine this scenario:

Before hopping in your car, you realize that you don’t have as much money as you initially thought, so you decide to stop at the local convenience store for your cup of joe. When you walk in, the attendant doesn’t acknowledge you. He’s too busy texting on his phone. You walk up to the coffee pot. Before pouring a cup, you ask the attendant how fresh the coffee is. He just shrugs and mumbles something that sounds like “I don’t know,” but you’re not sure. You decide to take a chance and pour a cup and you walk to the counter. The attendant rings you up, all while never looking up from his phone. He never makes eye contact, never smiles. When he takes your payment card, he doesn’t even ask if you want it to be run as debit or credit! And you have to ask for a receipt. You walk out the door, annoyed and angered. And the attendant can’t even look up from his phone to thank you for your time and business.

I’m sure we’ve all had experiences like both of these scenarios. When we experience the first scenario, chances are we don’t think much about it. At least not consciously. We’re not angered, so there’s not much to say.

But in that second scenario, you notice everything the attendant does. Or doesn’t do.

Which brings me to my point: People might not notice what you do, but they will notice what you don’t do. The little details — those little things that take a little bit of effort — might not be recognized. You might not get a lot of praise for them. But what if you don’t do those little things? What if you cheap out with your time and effort and give people the bare minimum? Well, maybe you won’t hear about it then either. But you can be damn sure that everyone your customers associate with will hear about it.

Don’t overlook the details. People might not notice what you do, but they do notice what you don’t do.

A few months ago, a friend of mine told me that he got to watch a presentation given by Myra Golden, Customer Loyalty Expert. My friend’s group was already excelling at customer service. Their scores were consistently high and they were the shining star of their company.

It would seem that Myra had nothing to talk about. But he told me about an interesting question she asked, something along the lines of: “How is your internal customer service?” How is your customer service among yourselves?

I never really thought of it like that before. We all know the importance of relationships inside a firm or organization. But to call it customer service? You mean that we’re customers to each other even though we work together?

Maybe not exactly, but that’s a great way of looking at it. The fact is, that if you and I are in the same organization — the same team, if you will — we will have to collaborate at some point. I will need something from you, and you will need something from me. The last thing we need is to dread interactions and transactions with each other. We should do as much as possible to make our professional relationships work. When we do this, everyone wins. We get things done, we’re more efficient, and we look like rock stars. We’re happy, our employees are happy, and our external customers are happy because they get the best service in the easiest manner.

But if we spend all our time, failing to cooperate and pointing fingers at others, everyone loses. Especially our customers.

My wife and I recently had a discussion concerning our alma mater. She had just spoken to one of her mentors, who called our alma mater’s business college “incestuous”. He was referring to the fact that the business college allows you to minor only in a subject in the same college.

I did not realize this because I never explored the option of a minor. I got my degree in marketing as soon as I could and never considered anything else.

For reference, my wife graduated with a sociology degree. Her mentor was ranting that sociology would be a great minor for someone majoring in marketing. He argued that marketing is a discipline of sociology (maybe it should be called “consumer sociology”).

And I agree. There was a time when I considered majoring in sociology. Just before I settled on marketing. The concept of sociology intrigued me — the study of social human behavior. I’ve always found people to be very interesting, and I’ve always been a people watcher. So I thought, what could be better? Then I decided that I had better get a degree that might be more useful.

So that’s how I got into marketing.

Now that I’m out of the classroom and actually do independent reading, I realize that marketing is a very social study. Marketing is the study of people’s purchasing motivations. What do they relate with? What are they willing to spend time and money on?

When people make purchases, they do not always do so for the most logical reasons. They do not always make the most economical decisions. Often they make a decision because it makes them feels good. Does this make sense? No, but guess what — people don’t make sense. That’s what makes them interesting.

So why do I feel that sociology is relevant to marketing? Marketing and sociology are concerned with many of the same things (demographics and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, for instance). And because people’s purchasing decisions are rarely based on business concepts. If you’re always thinking like a businessman and spouting off jargon, you’re likely not going to hit people where it counts — in their hearts.

In order to do that, you need a better understanding of people. And you don’t get that from marketing alone. A business student should feel free to dabble in sociology or psychology in order to gain a better understanding of who he’s trying to reach.

You hear it over and over again — new marketing is all about connections and interaction. How do you expect to connect and interact with people if you can’t understand them and can’t relate? Stop looking at people as dollar signs. Start seeing them for what they are: very simple, yet very complicated and contradictory beings.

Friday night a couple of friends and I went to see A Place to Bury Strangers (APTBS) and The Big Pink at the Granada Theater. Although The Big Pink was the headline act, we were actually going to see APTBS and felt that The Big Pink would just be a bonus. There was also a local band opening up the show, but after hearing a few seconds, we decided to pass on them and stood outside waiting for APTBS to kick off their set.

We had all seen APTBS before and they’re easily one of our favorite bands. I’m quite fond of shoegazer-wall-of-sound-noise rock. And APTBS definitely fits that description. They have a great sound and their album Exploding Head is phenomenal.

Oh, and they put on a great live performance.

The first time I saw APTBS, I was blown away. They were so loud, easily the loudest band I’ve ever heard. At that first gig, I felt the music as much as I heard it. After that night, I was in love.

And Friday night, they rocked it again. What I love about APTBS is that they don’t try to be rock ‘n’ roll. They are rock ‘n’ roll, in their own way.

I don’t enjoy concerts with a lot of “show”. I don’t need a light show and pyrotechnics. I want to hear some good songs by a band that knows how to play (remember: style over substance).

Oliver Ackermann, the singer and guitarist, does bring a little showmanship. He won’t hesitate to tear it up on his guitar and throw it around and trash it all for the sake of some good ol’ rock ‘n’ roll. But that’s APTBS, that’s who they are. It doesn’t feel phony. They don’t jump around and try to get the crowd into the show. They get the crowd into the show by rockin’. And rockin’ hard.

I was interested in hearing what The Big Pink would be like live. I like their debut album A Brief History of Love. Sadly, when they walked out, we knew it was going to be bad. The most entertaining thing I noticed was that their grungy image did not match their poppy sound. Aside from sounding really bad live, their presentation was very annoying.

They were trying far too hard to be cliche rock ‘n’ roll. The singer/guitarist was so animated, bouncing around while he played. He did fist pumps and even screamed out “We love Texas!” after a song. (Of course, everyone knows that Texans are a conceited bunch, and the crowd ate it up). The keyboardist was also bouncing around, to the point that he almost busted his ass a couple of times. The drummer tried so hard to look stone-faced and cold as she banged the skins. The bassist, complete with his Slayer jacket, threw his long hair around and headbanged as he played. I felt that the band was trying so hard to get us excited yet they had nothing to get us excited about. It felt so fake. It didn’t feel authentic at all. If they were trying to play on irony, they failed.

During the third song, my friends and I made the decision to bolt. Ironically, we left while they were playing “Velvet”, my favorite song from the album. The Big Pink were following the cliche formula, doing what had already been done so many times before. The experience was not different, it was not unique.

APTBS might not have as many fans as The Big Pink, but the people who do know about them and listen to them are rabid fans. APTBS have created a dedicated cult. And they’ve done it by branding themselves as “the loudest band in New York”. I know that they were the loudest band in Dallas on Friday night, and they might be the loudest band in the world. They don’t fake it, they don’t jump around trying to get you excited about a mediocre experience. They don’t try to appeal to everyone, there’s no way they can. They do what they do and they do it well. And they are very authentic about it.

Isn’t this what new marketing and the new thinking about business is all about? Isn’t this where we say the business world is headed?

When I was watching APTBS, I remember thinking to myself, This is our punk movement. This scene, this revival of the sounds of My Bloody Valentine and The Jesus and Mary Chain — this is our revolution.

And the new school of business, it feels very much like a punk movement. As was the case with punk rock, we’re fighting an establishment. We’re fighting against the rules of big business and tearing down the walls that they’re created. We want to be reminded that we’re people and that we matter when conducting business. We want to feel authenticity.

And if there’s one thing I want — in business, in my relationships, in life in general — is to be seen as being authentic. Of course, I hope to accomplish that by being authentic. I am who I am. I try to have my own views about things because I don’t want to be a parrot. Or a poser. I am an individual and I want to be seen as such. I want to be remembered for my authenticity, not as that guy who too busy running around tooting his own horn and fist-pumping and jumping around, trying to convince people he was awesome.

I want people to think I’m awesome because they genuinely think I am awesome.

Because I know I am.