It’s been brought to my attention that I tend to contradict myself. Well, kids, I’m gonna do it again! This post in many ways goes against what I said in People Are People. In a nutshell, I said that we should start loving people for who they are — their flaws and everything — rather than try to change them to our whims.
I know that sounds pretty and everything, but let’s be honest: you’re not going to get along with everyone. You can try to make it as easy as possible for people to like you and for you to get along with others, but there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t mesh with your personality. As stupid as it may sound, there may be someone who hates you because you get along with everyone else. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it happen.
Many people want to believe that everyone is unique and that everyone has a personality unlike that of anyone else. If you accept this, then you must accept that there are just too many dynamics in the world, and some personalities are likely to conflict with others. Justin Kownacki touched on this in a business sense when he argued that there is no point in defending your reputation; no matter what you do, you are going to have some people who love you for it and some who hate you for it. Haters gonna hate, as the academics and bourgeoisie of the world tend to say.
This is nothing new. Seth Godin and others have been harping on it for years. Quit trying to please everyone, or you’ll never stand out.
However, I think that there is one issue bigger than the fact that we can’t all get along: we need to stop thinking that people that we don’t get along with are horrible people. That’s not necessarily the case. You just don’t get along, your personalities don’t complement — that doesn’t mean that the other person should get hit by a bus when he’s going for his nighttime stroll.
You see this in American politics, and I suppose it’s so easy in the States because, for the most part, we have only a two-party system. You’re either with us or you’re with those guys.
Oh wait, you’re with those third party guys? Your voice doesn’t count, so we’re not as offended by you.
So many of us are too eager to jump into an “Us vs. Them” scenario, and it’s a damn shame, really. Just face it: you’re not going to get along with everyone. And don’t try to change them, because most of us are not going to change, and if we are going to do so, the transformation won’t be easy. 9 times out of 10, it’s not worth your effort and it will only make you angrier at the person. Just accept the person for who he is, and if you can’t do that, then just be civil when you have to be and never volunteer to be with the person otherwise.
And if such a person is your superior, you might want to brush up your resume and start working on your exit strategy!
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