Why You Need More Haters In Your Life

How can I create something that critics will criticize?

That might sound like a strange question to ask yourself, but take a second to truly think about it. In his book Tribes, Seth Godin says this is a question you must ask yourself if you are ever going to lead a tribe of any kind. He echoes this point again in Linchpin when he argues that people are scared to stand out and become indispensable because attempting to do so attracts criticism. Keeping your head down and following the status quo is safe. No one notices you when you do this. Therefore, no one criticizes you. The concept is pretty simple, right?

I have to admit that I have unintentionally bought into this mentality. I didn’t realize it until Seth Godin made the point so clear to me.

People think it’s fear of failure that keeps them from being brave and breaking norms. But it’s really the criticism that accompanies failure that keeps us from trying something different. (In all fairness, Seth Godin may have made that point also, so credit to him if necessary).

Failure wouldn’t be nearly so bad if people wouldn’t constantly criticize you and remind you of how you went wrong…

Quitting your job and starting your own business didn’t work out so well, did it? Don’t you wish you’d stayed where you were?

That book you spent two years writing didn’t get published. What a waste…

I guess you’re an okay guitarist. I mean, you’re no Jimi Hendrix.

Yeah, criticism like that can hurt. I feel your pain because I’m not nearly as thick-skinned as I wish I were. But even Seth Godin admits that he’s vulnerable to criticism.

When you do something different — when you’re criticized — for some reason, you’re making an impression on someone. You’re standing out in some way. When you fail to push the envelope, you don’t get noticed and you don’t get criticized.

I’ve realized that I need more critics — scratch that, I need more haters — in my life. Rather than doing everything we can to steer clear of the haters, we need to do what we can to get them doing their thing — hatin’. When you do something meaningful, you’re going to have haters. You can count on it. But when you have no haters, no one deterring you from your goal, that’s when you really need to worry. Because that means there’s no chance of failing. And that means there’s no chance of achieving anything worth talking about. No one sees you as a threat, no one is bothered, no one is paying attention.

Again, I want you to take a little time and think about a question: Do you have enough haters in your life?

Tagged as: criticsm, haters