Why Do We Give People So Much Credit For Saying What’s Expected?

These days, you really have to watch what you say. Online and offline. Let your guard down for a few seconds. Let your tongue slip. Say one little thing that rubs someone just the wrong way.

And you’ll have hell to pay.

With all of this scrutiny — with every single word thoroughly examined for any hint of offense — is it any wonder that speeches and responses to questions all start to sound the same?

Not really sure what I’m talking about? Okay, let’s look at sports. (Again? I know, I can’t help it lately.)

Think about the Heisman trophy winners. The Heisman trophy is awarded every year to college football’s best player. Of course, when a player wins the Heisman, he usually says something along the lines of: “This award isn’t just about me. It’s been a team effort, and I could never have done it without these guys.”

And the sports commentators act surprised. They say: “Wow, look at the maturity of this kid. He’s so young yet he’s so humble.”

Come on, is he really? He used a typical textbook answer! Maybe that is how he truly feels, but I’ll never know because many before him uttered the same line.

What about when Matthew Stafford was taken #1 overall in the NFL draft and found out that he would have to start his NFL career with the Detroit Lions, a team that had a record of 0-16 the year before. The Lions were winless. So, what does Stafford say? He says that he’s happy and excited to be a Detroit Lion. Man, I wonder if that was a hard line to spew.

One day a couple of years ago, I was listening to ESPN Radio and an NFL Hall of Fame quarterback was being interviewed. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the quarterback’s name, but the point that he never won a Super Bowl came up. When asked if he would trade his Hall of Fame honor for a Super Bowl, the quarterback said no. He felt that the Hall of Fame was a more prestigious honor and he was happy with his induction.

That comment caught me off-guard. Nobody says that.

No, that’s not right. He’s supposed to say: “Although I feel that the Hall of Fame is a tremendous honor, nothing would have honored me more than leading my team to a championship and sharing that Lombardi trophy with my coaches and teammates.”

But he spoke the truth, not what he was expect to say. And so the question: Why do we give people so much credit for saying what’s expected?

Why do we give the Heisman trophy winner credit for including his teammates? Why would we be upset if he stood up, pounded himself on the chest, and said: “All my hard work finally paid off. Y’all better recognize!”

Why do we say that Matthew Stafford is humble and is a team player when he says he’s excited to be a Detroit Lion and he’s ready to contribute right now? What if he sighed heavily and said: “I’m glad they’re paying me as much as they are, because I ain’t gonna be having no fun in Detroit this year.”

Why do we give Terrell Owens so much hell for saying “I love me some me”? Is he egotistical? Yes. Is he troubled? Possibly. Is he insane? I wouldn’t go that far, but I get what you’re thinking. But as far as I’m concerned, at least I know he is being honest. His comment is totally unscripted and original. It’s straight from the heart. You might say that Owens’s heart is tainted, but at least he’s not covering up his true feelings.

In some ways, this post is hypocritical of me since I wrote a post about what Dan Gilbert’s letter about LeBron James’s departure should have said. Maybe Gilbert shouldn’t have gotten so much flak. Maybe he should be allowed to say what he truly feels, to have a human response.

Speaking of the LeBron madness, my wife said she’d heard somewhere that Cavs fans felt betrayed because in the past LeBron had said he wasn’t going to chase a championship, he was going to bring a championship to Cleveland. And then he leaves for Miami with the intention of chasing a championship. Well, when he was in Cleveland, he said what he was supposed to say. What he was expected to say. What if he had said: “Well, I’m going to give this a chance, but if it hasn’t worked in a few years, I’m going to bail ship”? And also, maybe it wasn’t his intention to leave at the time he said that. You and I will never know, unless you’re LeBron, in which case I’d like to thank you for stopping by, LeBron.

It’s just like when that certain little girl or guy you’ve just started getting serious with looks you in the eye and says: “Wow, you’re so awesome. I’ve never felt this way.” That is such a cliche phrase, but I bet you that most of us have fallen for it!

Why do we take safe and textbook comments and think that they’re special because they apply to our immediate situations? And by putting so much value in scripted and prepared statements, are we turning others and ourselves into robots? While we’d all like to think that we have the freedom to express ourselves, are we as a whole making it difficult for individuals to do so?

Wanna know what happens when you take it to the extreme and say what is truly on your mind regardless of people’s feeling and expectations? Just ask Mel Gibson.

Tagged as: Communication