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We’ve all heard the discussions — the differences between introverts and extroverts. When it comes to networking, extroverts seem to have it made, don’t they? They’re so fun and energetic and conversation comes so effortless. Networking just comes naturally for them. Introverts aren’t so fortunate; they’re more reserved and much less social. How can they ever hope to compete in the world of networking, where the whole point is to go out and mingle with others? How can introverts be effective at networking?

It seems to me that introverts get a bit wrapped up in this image of who they are and how they are supposed to act in certain situations. I’m an introvert, I’m meant to work alone. I don’t play well with others. I don’t have the necessary skills to work my way up the ladder. The stereotype is that introverts spend all of their time analyzing and can’t find it in themselves to open up. To people who think like this and believe that they’re restricted by innate characteristics, I have one thing to say: Introverts, get over yourselves. This kind of thinking gets you nowhere; it’s counterproductive, and having a defeatist attitude will get you nowhere.

The truth is, I know your pain. I know it all too well. At heart I’ve always been an introvert. When I was younger, I preferred the comfort of being alone over the idea of mingling with others. It’s safe to say that overall, I genuinely disliked being around people. Honestly, I felt that people had nothing to offer me — and, I suppose, that I had nothing to offer them.

I finally realized that these feelings — this way of thinking — was doing me no good. The truth was that I would have to mingle with others at some point. I couldn’t stay wrapped up in my own little world forever. So I made an effort to “break out of my shell”, as people call it. It took a little work and a little effort, but it’s safe to say that I am a more social person now. Communicating with others is no longer a chore; to be honest, I actually enjoy it, both offline and online. I’ve since realized that others do have a lot to offer; and I have a lot to offer them as well.

Of course, I’m still an introvert. I still enjoy my free time. I can’t explain why, but from time to time I need to be alone. Alone with my thoughts. Or alone to read. Or alone to play some video games. I need time to do what I want to do.

Looking back, I think part of my reluctance with mingling with others was that, to a certain degree, I was actually scared of people. Part of me was afraid that I may make a fool of myself. And another part of me was afraid that others might feed off this and humiliate me while I’m in a vulnerable state. However, I’ve slowly discovered that most people don’t have a desire to bring others down. Most aren’t out to get you and bring you down.

We blow most of our fears out of proportion. Our social fears are no different. The truth is this — introverts, if you’re worried about networking and wondering how you’re going to make it in that scary and unfamiliar world, you are going to have to make an effort. You are going to have to open up and leave yourself vulnerable. You have to put yourself out there.

Sure, you might open your mouth and embarrass yourself. But if you stick with it, it gets better. The more you open up and communicate with others, the easier it becomes. Like all things, it gets better with practice. So throw yourself out there; that’s what the extroverts are doing. If you want to play in their world, you need to play their game.

Photo credit: tamelyn via Flickr Creative Commons

It seems that at some point in life, everyone wants to be an artist. We all want to do something that will ensure that we’ll be cherished and remembered far beyond our days on this planet. We may seek to achieve this any number of ways: by being a rock star or an author. Or a painter or an entrepreneur. Or a big-hearted philanthropist. Whatever our method, we all seek to stand out from the pack, at some point in our existence.

Some of us reach those heights. However, the rest of us aren’t so lucky. The rest of us slip into the abyss of mediocrity with everyone else. Why? Perhaps we’re not good enough, we’re not talented enough (which is highly doubtful). Maybe Destiny or Lady Luck didn’t give us their blessing. Was it written in the stars? Were we not dealt a fair hand?

I can’t speak for everyone else. But I can speak for myself. And the one thing that constantly holds me back is a fear of not being original enough.

For some reason, there’s this pressure to always be original. 100% totally new! Something no one else has ever heard of before…

Yet many of the artists we idolize aren’t all that original. And the truth is that no one’s as original as we’d like to believe, even the most original people.

We’re all influenced by others, to some degree.

Despite my feelings about the band, The Beatles are often credited as the most influential and most original band of all-time. But let’s face it — they had influences. They didn’t come up with this whole music thing on their own. Someone blazed paths before them. Like all of us, they took what was already there and built on it.

Every artist — every actor, painter, musician, author, etc. — borrows from others.

I cannot claim to be the most original person, nor can I claim to be an artist. But if I were to say that the things I share on my blog and social networks were completely original, I’d be kidding myself. But I can’t let that stop me. Like everyone else, I take my influences and tweak their offerings a bit to my liking.

Even Seth Godin, the golden marketer, is not 100% original. He gives credit to Malcolm Gladwell, Tom Peters, Zig Ziglar, and many others. Surely, we’ve all heard the accusations of Shakespeare’s lack of originality. But does that make him any less immortal in literature?

Do us all a favor: quit pressuring yourself to be so original. Just because you’re not all that original doesn’t mean that you have to sentence yourself to a lifetime of complacency. If you have an idea, run with it. See what happens. If it catches on, why should you worry about how original you are? And for those of you who think you’re uniquely original, drop the act and stop flattering yourself. And give credit where it’s due.

Recently, my wife and I were grocery shopping while I was singing a certain song that I couldn’t get out of my head. I saw this elderly lady and instantly thought, I bet she doesn’t know this song. Maybe I was wrong; she might be a hip granny, but you know you would have thought the same thing.

This got me to thinking about how people older than myself tend to listen to music from their generation. I’m not saying this as if it’s a bad thing; it’s merely an observation. It is what it is. As we get older, we seek the comfort of our younger days. We reminisce and use our memories as a way of separating ourselves from our younger counterparts. Hey, remember that one show? No? Oh yeah, that’s right; you’re too young!

Regardless of age, we all want to talk about the good ole days. You know, the days we lived in before these crazy times. The days of our youth were always such simpler days. It seems that every day that the world lives, it just gets so much more complicated!

My grandmother has a serious problem with technology. I remember being a kid and my mother and me having to drive out to my grandmother’s to fix her VCR. My mom never did fix the VCR. She always did something simple like put the TV on the right channel or turn the VCR on. You know, troubleshooting. Now my grandmother owns a DVD player. And yes, my mother still makes occasional trips to fix it.

I think the world scares my dad. He says today’s music sucks and he clings to Creedence Clearwater Revival and Pink Floyd. And the Internet? I’m not sure he could check his email if he had an account.

Now, I’d be a hypocrite if I sat here and picked on the older generations and pointed out how they’ve failed to change with the times. The truth is, I catch myself doing some of the same things. Only a little different. Lately, I’ve noticed that I listen to the same music I listened to in high school and college. I’m not finding many new artists to put into my collection. And technology? I can’t guarantee that I can tell you what’s cool from one day to the next. I’m not the most “in the know” person out there.

It would appear that I’m not the only one though. Many of us sit around and laugh at the marketers who are relying on ads in the Yellow Pages to cause their businesses to explode. When we get a call from a telemarketer, we are in disbelief that people still try that outdated method of promotion.

Guess what — if we’re not careful, this will be us. And we can’t afford to let that happen.

Change is inevitable. Whether you like it or not, the world you live in is going to change. Rather than cling to the comforts of our younger days, we need to embrace change and adapt. Because I can promise you that as I’m typing this post or as you’re reading it, change is happening out there somewhere. And it’s going to affect you somehow.

Change happened in the times of our parents and grandparents, but it seems that change is happening at a more rapid pace in our lifetime. We can thank the explosion of the Internet for this. Resources that were once reserved for big businesses are now in the hands of everyday people. And some of those people are pretty damn creative. They’re changing the world and the business environment. The comforts we enjoy today will not be there tomorrow. Something new and different will have taken their places.

This is the mindset I want to maintain because nostalgia will get us nowhere.

I don’t want to be that guy in his 40′s popping his collar and talking about the days before MP3 killed the CD. We can look around and see examples of older generations struggling in today’s environment. What makes you think you can afford to get stuck in the past?

I’ve been in a rut lately. Unfortunately, I can’t exactly pinpoint why. Maybe it’s been a while since my last rut, maybe it’s just time.

There was a time when these moments greatly concerned me, such as when I was a teenager. Ah, the teen years, didn’t you love those days? Such a confusing and hectic time, with that whole puberty and soul-searching thing. You know, that whole period of finding yourself — discovering who you are and who you’re going to be for the rest of your life. Yeah, it’s a fun time.

I was very moody as a teenager. I suppose I’m still moody now, but I like to think that I’ve gotten better. During my teen years, I seriously questioned whether I might be bipolar. Just thinking about the possibility scared the hell out of me. But when we don’t have answers to questions, we search for them. Sometimes we come up with some crazy conclusions. And our plans of action might not be the solutions we need.

I believe that America is a nation that is too heavily medicated. I’m not saying that all medication is bogus. I understand that some people do genuinely need it. But it seems that more and more people are getting on anti-depressants. And it seems that children are being fed ritalin as soon as possible. What’s up with this? Can so many people truly need all of this medication? Can we all really have the same disorders?

My answer is very simple, and it is this: yes and no.

Why yes and no? In some cases, I think that there may be nothing wrong with the medicated individuals. The disorder they’re medicated for is not their own; it is the disorder of the masses, the disorder of society.

Sometimes society can be very inflexible. Society carves out a set of norms and expects everyone to fall into place and follow suit. And if you don’t follow these norms, something is wrong with you. Obviously, you must be the problem because everyone else complies, right? Some people will do whatever it takes to fit the mold. They wear the right clothes, they hum the right tunes, they pop the right pills. They choose to buy into the dream — the American dream.

We Americans pride ourselves on being a society of individuals (is that an oxymoron?). But the irony is that you can be an individual as long as you’re like everyone else. As long as you still fit their mold.

And what is the mold? The mold is whatever everyone else is doing — working the cubicle job for the hope of climbing the corporate ladder and getting the corner office. And doing it with a smile on their faces. Happy and compliant, never questioning a thing. And my question is this: who the hell does this?

For some reason, we’re taught that bad moods are a bad thing. They should be shunned. Folks, if you get a bad mood from time to time, there’s nothing wrong with you. That is normal. That is natural. If you get frustrated at something, no worries — it happens. If you never get frustrated or get into a bad mood — now, that is not normal.

Who started this idea that we’re always to be cheerful? People who try to play this role frighten me. There’s something fake about it. I’m sorry, but I can’t do it. That’s not me. Some days I’m not 100%. And I can’t say that I’m the most consistent personality. If I had to describe myself with song lyrics, I’d choose a line from “Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve: I’m a million different people from one day to the next. That perfectly describes how I feel about myself. Am I bipolar? No. Life is bipolar. Life is not consistent, it is not an everlasting wave of euphoria. It’s a wave of ups and down, of highs and lows.

I strongly believe in the importance of self-reflection. You should always examine yourself and see how you can better some of your faults. But also, you have to ask yourself if you’re remedying your disorders or if you’re remedying society’s disorders.

We don’t all fit the same mold. We don’t all have the same desires. We can’t all be at this even tone every second of every day. And we shouldn’t, not if we are to be individuals. What’s right for me may not be right for you. And that’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with you and there’s nothing wrong with me. There’s something wrong with the people who can’t understand that very simple concept.

“Fair and balanced” — I’m sure you know where that slogan comes from. In a world where information and misinformation alike are available at our fingertips (and in the blink of an eye), sometimes it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s not. But one thing’s certain: if you’re looking for an easy way out of an argument, just claim that the person you’re arguing with has bias. And then watch as the other person tries to defend himself and insist that there is no way that he can have a bias of any kind.

After all, “bias” has a very negative connotation. Why do you think Fox News came up with that safe little slogan — “fair and balanced”? It just wouldn’t have the same ring as “We cling to the Right but try to hide it because we don’t want to look biased“. The point here is not to bash Fox News; they were merely the most obvious example I could think of to make my point.

The point is that I hope you never hear me say that I do not have bias. Because that would be a lie. And if you said that line, it would be a lie as well. The truth is we all have a bias. “Bias” is synonymous with “worldview”. And “worldview” is pretty much what it says — it’s how you see the world. As far as I’m concerned, if you don’t have a bias, you don’t have an opinion.

The mistake we make is in believing that if we admit that we’re biased, people will assume that we can’t see the other side of the argument. My bias doesn’t stop me from trying to see both sides of every argument; I try to encourage people to tell me why see a certain issue a certain way. Why? Because that person has a bias that is different from mine. And I want to understand it.

Just because I listen to your argument, your bias, doesn’t mean that I’m automatically going to convert to your way of thinking. But afterward, I will understand where you are coming from. And by understanding how you think and what is important to you, maybe I will know how to better reach you — or maybe we can find a way to reach a compromise. Or we might simply agree to disagree. Hopefully, if nothing else, at least I will know why you feel the way you do. Marketers, remember — your target audience has a bias. And if it doesn’t agree with your bias, you need to learn to understand it so that you can communicate to them. Personal branding fanatics, your bias is part of your brand. If you’re not pushing your bias, you’re hiding a big part of who you are and missing an opportunity to impress.

Yes, we all have biases. We all take different paths through life. We all see different things and have different experiences. Any number of factors can affect your worldview – your age, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic background, education — these and other factors all influence your bias.

So the next time someone calls you biased, let that person know that he’s right. But don’t stop there.

Don’t hide your bias. Explain it. And make people understand why you feel the way you do.

Inspiration can come in unexpected places. I was reminded of this when I watched a documentary about the demise of the Swedish punk band Refused, properly titled Refused Are F***ing Dead. I do sincerely try to refrain from dropping F-bombs on my blog, but it’s kind of hard to avoid doing so when the word is in the title of something. For me, the best part of the documentary came at the end, when someone summarized what Refused had meant to him. This little quote stuck out in my mind:

“Be creative. Be alive. Share every gift and every passion you have to offer. We all need all we can get.”

When I heard that, I realized that he wasn’t telling us to be creative for ourselves; he was telling us to be creative for others, for the world.

Make no mistake of it, we’re living in a cookie-cutter world. So much music sounds alike. Movies have the same formula and plots. Go to your average suburban neighborhood; how many times do you see the same house? We built a world of factories, and in business school you are not taught to think outside the box and create a new business; you’re told how to make a business identical to what already exists. There’s no doubt that creativity is not encouraged in mainstream education, and considering how much of our lives we spend in school, is it any wonder that we’re afraid to be brave and try something new?

So many of us spend so much time studying what works and what’s effective. We forget to put a bit of ourselves into what we’re doing, and as a result, we dehumanize everything. We place little value on what makes us unique and remarkable. We study the fashions and mimic what we see.

I found another bit of inspiration in the song “New Noise” by Refused. It comes in these lines:

And how can we expect anyone to listen
If we are using the same old voice?
We need new noise – new art for the real people

I grow so sick of things that are designed to keep us the same, and I’m always clinging for something that I feel I can relate to. I don’t care if you relate to it, or if the guy down the street relates to it. I want something that I relate to. Something that feels as if it’s a part of me too. (People say we live in a “Me” world, but as far as I’m concerned, there’s not enough emphasis on “Me” in this area).

That’s why, in the world of marketing, I truly respect the people who don’t tell you what to do. I prefer the ones who sell inspiration, not methods. They don’t write a blueprint for you because you’ll just follow it, and that would defeat the purpose. We each have to find our own way, and that should be the fun part, being able to look back and say Wow, I did it my way (Thank you, Mr. Sinatra).

So if you’re waiting for permission to be creative, it’s already been granted. Rock on.

Photo Credit: www.burningheart.com

If you’ve ever bought or bartered for anything during your lifetime, you have been a customer at some point. As customers, we expect a lot from the people we do business with. We expect the best service and we want it in a timely manner and we want to see a smile on that other person’s face, no matter the circumstances of the transaction. I can’t say that these expectations are unfair. After all, that’s what we pay them for.

In order for a business transaction to take place, two parties must be involved. This is where you come in and play the role of the needy customer. You have a need or a want that must be satisfied. You’ve sought out the service of others and you’re willing to pay — and you’re willing to pay good money. And for that, you want to be treated as if you’re that person’s #1 customer and primary concern. The next time you receive service that isn’t quite up to par and leaves a bad taste in your mouth, ask yourself this one question: Are you a good customer?

Surely you’ve heard the expression “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”. Do you keep that in mind when you act as a customer? As I said before, it is the responsibility of a customer service representative (whether the person be a waiter, a retail clerk, or a salesman) to give you the best service imaginable. But you can make it easier for someone to give you the service that you deserve.

There was a time when I was a car salesman. The job was a bad fit for me, and as a result, it lasted about 6 months. The wealth that I accrued in that short stint didn’t come in the way of hefty commissions — it came in the way of life lessons. While working as a salesman, I got beaten and abused (okay, I’m exaggerating; it was nothing personal, just purely business). But I did interact with some customers that I felt could have been a bit easier to deal with. After that experience, I’ve made an effort to be a good customer.

If I go to a restaurant and someone gets my order wrong, I don’t yell and curse and make a scene. These things happen to all of us. I’ve goofed up before, and I know I’ll goof up again. All I can ask is that the waiter make an honest effort to correct the mistake. If I feel that the waiter couldn’t care less, then I get upset. But not before that point.

Sallie Mae has angered my wife and me far too many times. Over the course of a year, they’ve messed up my wife’s payments three times. The first time she made a payment on her student loans, they didn’t disperse the payment evenly amongst her loans and said that she had a late fee. A couple of months ago, they credited her payment to my account, even though the checks had separate account numbers on them. And then last month, they said they hadn’t received her payment even though they had. Oh yes, it’s been a fun ride with Sallie Mae. But when I call customer service, I don’t yell at the representatives. After all, it’s not the fault of the individual I’m talking to. Unfortunately, it’s his job to take the flak and fix the situation.

I don’t want to be the customer that people hate to see coming. I like to think that by being nice to the people I do business with, I make it possible to receive the best service that they have to offer. And believe me, I want the best service that I can get.

So, now I ask you: are you a good customer?

Yesterday I took a little time to optimize my FeedBurner settings in an attempt to create a better experience for my subscribers. Apparently, I goofed up somewhere because I noticed that FeedBurner pushed a handful of my old posts through as new posts. (Yes, I recently subscribed to my own feed so that I could notice any changes or problems). When I checked my own feed reader, I saw 5 or 6 of my posts at the top of my feed.

If this happened for you also, I apologize. I never meant to bombard or spam you with my posts. Hopefully, I’ve optimized FeedBurner and won’t feel the need to toy with it again anytime soon.

Again, my apologies –

Jake

This post is a break from the usual for me. Today, I’d like to share an organization that is very important to me in an attempt to help them with a fundraising campaign that will be taking place tomorrow. If you have a non-profit that’s dear to you, please help them to get the word out. Do whatever you can to help them to reach their goals. If you can’t help them through donations, help them by promoting awareness.

Do you have an itch to adopt a charity but are unsure where your donations should go? Are you having a hard time identifying yourself with one cause? Well, the next time you’re feeling charitable, I have a particular organization I’d like you to consider. And I feel so strongly about the cause and the leadership that I am more than proud to attach my name to it — I’m talking about Med Camps of Louisiana.

What is Med Camps of Louisiana?

This is a description of Med Camps of Louisiana, taken straight from their website:

MedCamps of Louisiana holds a series of one-week, fun-filled camps each summer free of charge for children in Louisiana facing the challenges of a variety of physical and mental disabilities. These include spina bifida, cerebral palsy, asthma, sickle cell anemia, autism, epilepsy, juvenile arthritis, visual impairment, hearing impairment, speech impairment and those developmentally disabled.

Children battling these disorders are often unable to participate in normal childhood activities. Consequently, they are often “left out” because they have special needs. With MedCamps that is no longer the case.

That’s their mission, plain and simple. While at Med Camps of Louisiana, these children engage in a number of activities they normally miss out on, such as canoeing, horseback riding, fishing, archery, and swimming. Of course, the BIG EVENT is the end-of-the-week dance. Yeah, that activity gets a lot of attention.

The best part about Med Camps of Louisiana, as stated above, is that it’s free to the campers and their parents. That’s right, the parents don’t pay a penny. Of course, that means that this wonderful organization has to raise the funds on its own, and that’s possible only through donations and fundraising.

Why I Care

I worked at Med Camps of Louisiana for three summers. During those three summers, I saw firsthand how this special place touches the lives of its campers as well as its camp counselors. I myself learned valuable life lessons while there. Also, Med Camps taught me that I had the capability of being a mentor. I truly understood how important Med Camps of Louisiana was to its campers when one mother explained it to me like this: “My son spends half the year talking about what he did at Med Camps and then spends the other half of the year talking about what he’s going to do at Med Camps the next year.” With the encouragement of the dedicated staff members, campers learn valuable lessons like independence and reaching their maximum potential. No one is teased or heckled. Med Camps is all about inclusion.

Why You Should Care

All too often we talk about making a difference. The tragedy is that we do nothing about it. You don’t have to change the world to make a difference. I’m not asking you for much; I’m just asking you to take that one small step that goes a long way.

If you still need more convincing, watch this short video which gives another take on Med Camps of Louisiana:

What Can You Do?

On Thursday, June 3, 2010, Med Camps of Louisiana is holding an event they’re calling MoneyBomb. MoneyBomb is a one-day, virtual, grassroots fundraising effort aimed at creating an explosion of cash for this wonderful organization. The goal is to raise at least $25,000 in donations, raised entirely through email chains, Facebook posts and other online links. (I personally would like to see this post retweeted again and again because I’d like to see Med Camps on Twitter too. Help me to convince them!) All they’re asking for is a donation of $10 and the hope that you’ll turn around and tell another friend about the event. The goal is to go viral. I’m trying to do my part and asking you to spread the word. You can give your donation here. And before you ask, yes, I’ve already donated.

I spoke earlier about the leadership of Med Camps of Louisiana. I can think of no two better people to work together on this mission than Caleb Seney, the Executive Director, and Wes Cavin, the Camp Director. I’ve had the pleasure of working with them both at Med Camps and know they’re the right men for the job.

Where Does Your Donation Go?

All donations are greatly appreciated. Whether it go toward campsite renovations, feeding the campers, or buying camp supplies, you can rest assured that it will go toward a great cause.

Please donate to this wonderful organization. And when you’re sitting around wondering what good thing you’ve done with your day, you can sit back and think of all the kids who will be having a great summer because of your donation, your contribution to an organization that gives one week of opportunity to children with special needs.