Your bosses are unfair. Your professor didn’t like you from the moment you first sat in his class. The world is against you. You can justify your failures any number of ways you choose, and you can make convincing arguments and maybe convert a few people to your side. But just because you can do it doesn’t mean you should. Why? Because although making excuses may make you feel better about yourself, in the long run it does you no good.
Change your mentality. Take your share of the blame.
Are you having trouble getting your dream job right now? Yeah, so are a lot of other people. And they cite the same reason you do: the economy. I have no doubt that the economy is a significant hinderance, but that kind of thinking benefits no one. The average job seeker is facing great difficulty in finding employment right now. But you’re not average, are you? Of course not! Because the average person is sitting around whining about his bad luck. But not you. No, you’re too busy trying to figure out what you’re doing wrong and making changes.
Or maybe you’re unhappy with the job you do have. You can gripe and complain about why you’re not succeeding, but ask yourself one question: Did you honestly believe that you were a good fit for the position? Or did you know that you weren’t a good fit yet take the job anyway? If the letter is the case, you know you are to blame.
This goes beyond your professional life. Let’s try relationships. So some cute little guy or gal just broke your poor little heart. Yeah, it was really crummy what that person did to you. So that person’s purely to blame and you’re 100% innocent, right? Wrong! So wrong! There’s a really good chance that things happened that would have tipped you off if you weren’t too busy playing a fool in the game of love. What about the way that person acted differently when you were around other people? Or how that person was always pushing away commitment when you knew damn well that it was time to take it to the next level. Or the person was still good friends — maybe too good of friends — with an old significant other. Yeah, you should have seen that coming. Take your part of the blame.
I propose an exercise: The next time you fail, no matter the circumstance, I want you to place the blame on yourself. And no one else, only yourself. I want you to think about what you could have done differently. I think you’ll be surprised by what you discover, and you’ll be a better person for it.
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