Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

For whatever reason, it seems that we humans can not leave others alone and simply worry about ourselves. Rather than focus only on what we are doing, we choose to push our noses in other people’s business. We look at what everyone else is doing and wonder if we should follow suit. What are people in Beverly Hills wearing? What’s hot on Top 40 radio? There are so many questions that we let distract us. Unfortunately, we look to see what others are doing when we attempt to measure our own success as well.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a novelist. I had so many ideas and stories that were one day going to make it on paper and find their way into the homes and hearts of thousands of readers and maybe even onto a few bestseller lists. I remember being discouraged by one of my favorite authors. Although I’ve read and enjoyed many of Bret Easton Ellis’s novels (American Psycho, The Rules of Attraction, Lunar Park), it was his debut Less Than Zero that made me feel inadequate. Why? Ellis had Less Than Zero published while he was a freshman in college. I’m having trouble balancing full-time college coursework and a part-time job, yet Ellis was publishing novels while working on his degree. If you think that’s impressive, S. E. Hinton had The Outsiders published when she was only 16 years old. That can be discouraging, even to someone in his early 20′s.

Some people can read a book in a day. I’m not talking about those 200-page books, I mean those big thick Harry Potter-size books. I, on the other hand, am a very slow reader. And an inconsistent one. I can start reading a book, put it down for a while, and pick it up a few days later. Because of this, even an extremely small book can take me quite some time to finish. When I think of those people who read at a much faster pace, I feel like the village idiot.

At the age of 23, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg became the world’s youngest billionaire. At age 25, I am nowhere near that and it does not seem as if I will be near that anytime soon.

Even if I do start building an empire tomorrow, it’s highly unlikely that I’ll ever be as rich as Warren Buffet.

By this point, you’re probably asking, What’s the point of all this? The point is that as long as you compare your success to that of others, you will always find a way to devalue your accomplishments and find a reason never to start bettering your situation.

I know I’m not the only one who’s ever let himself get down when comparing his accomplishments to others’. I remember a conversation I had with a good friend and former co-worker; my friend stated that he was 25 years old, about to be laid off, and had accomplished nothing. He wasn’t financially secure, hadn’t started his own venture, and couldn’t see anything on the horizon. He was focused too much on the extravagant success of others rather than seeing how his modest successes might help him in the future. My friend was smart, had a college degree, had freed himself of debt. He had gained some real-world experience and had learned some life lessons that he would carry with him forever and use to better himself.

I enjoy playing basketball. I’ll never be Michael Jordan. Should I stop playing?

I mess around on my guitar from time to time. I’ll never be a guitar god, but should I be any less proud of the melodies I create?

You can’t compare yourself to others. It’s just not healthy. We’re all born into a certain environment or certain situation. There are so many factors that affect us on a daily basis. All we can do is strive to make the best out of our situation, our one chance to do something special. The only person you can compare yourself to is yourself. Ask yourself, Where are you today? Where were you yesterday? And where are you headed? Are you moving forward? If not, what can you do to get yourself back on track? That is the healthiest method of comparison.

Tagged as: comparing yourself to others, defining success