jakelacaze.com

The dog. The beast. The LEGEND.

Unless I’m a new acquaintance, you probably know a story or two about my crazy dog B. He is, without a doubt, the strangest animal I have ever met. He has extreme anxiety and freaks out when people other than myself and my wife come over. He also has separation anxiety, so he sometimes freaks out when we leave him alone. But B is also the sweetest dog I’ve ever met, so all is forgiven.

B, like many dogs, has been known to get upset and bark when he sees his own reflection in the mirror. My wife will often call B into the bathroom and ask him if he wants to see the doggy in the mirror. Yeah, I know, it’s a bit of a mean prank, but it’s cheaper than a movie. And popcorn is still optional.

On the flipside, sometimes B couldn’t care less. He might overlook the doggy in the mirror and go about his merry way.

And this got me to thinking…

I’m not so different from B.

Sometimes I don’t think twice about the person I see in the mirror. In fact, I can be my biggest cheerleader. Because I’m awesome. I know I am. I don’t care what anyone else says.

And then other days…

Sometimes the man I see in the mirror every morning is my biggest threat. I get in my own way more than anyone else. I can think of a few bad decisions I’ve made that pushed me back. Or decisions I didn’t make at all. All the opportunities I didn’t take because I was too critical of myself. I told myself I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t smart enough. I wasn’t capable enough.

No one else has held me back. I can’t blame anything on the economy. It’s been me all along.

How do you react to the person in the mirror? Does it ever seem that you have an adverse emotion toward him or her? Why? You should always be that person’s biggest cheerleader. Don’t hold yourself back. Don’t put yourself down. Get out of your own way!

The other day, my wife stumbled upon this article about The Tea Party (AKA Teabaggers). A party member, curious why people laugh in his face after he identifies himself as a Teabagger, decides to Google the term. And he discovers that the term has an embarrassing sexual meaning.

This article is not about politics. It’s about knowing what your brand says to others.

Before reading this article, I did not know that some people actually called themselves Teabaggers. At least not in the political sense. I’d heard the term only from Democrats and smartass TV and radio commentators. I never saw anyone standing on top of a mountain, proclaiming I am a teabagger! (That’s one hell of an image though). And so, I always thought that the term was derogatory. I’ve always been one of those who laughed internally whenever he heard the term.

This is NOT what came up in the guy’s Google search!

But apparently there are people who have gone around proclaiming themselves Teabaggers with an intense passion and were left wondering why people think that their cause is some big joke. Their message wasn’t the problem. Their delivery wasn’t the problem. The problem was their identification. Their brand name. If, in the early stages of this movement, someone had taken the time to search the term in Google, maybe the party wouldn’t have embraced this term. Maybe their message would spread more easily (to, you know, people in their early 20′s who laugh at teabagger).

We live in a superficial world. You hear the term “Don’t judge a book by its cover” because people do judge books by their covers. And their titles.

Sure, when you get past the name and listen to what they have to say, the Teabaggers might have a good message. But you’re too busy chuckling to listen. And the buck stops there.

And so I think you have to ask yourself, Is some minute detail acting as a big deterrent to your brand and your message? Do you need to modify your brand?

I want to start off by saying that I personally enjoyed my last post titled What Are You Scared Of?. I enjoyed that post because although it had a serious message, the delivery started out light and comical. Maybe you’d find the post stupid. Or the humor ridiculous.

But that’s who I am. I like a little funny in my life. I’ve been told from time to time that my humor is a little odd. And I laugh at some of the strangest things. And not everyone gets it. But surely someone will. I know a few who do.

I’ve been thinking about balance lately, and it seems to be something I’ve always struggled with. Just look at how my blog started off. So serious. Always serious. That’s cool if I’m in a serious mood, but if I’m not…

There is a time and place for everything. Seriousness and humor are no different. I know when to be serious, and I know when I can be silly. No one wants to hear a knock-knock joke at a funeral. And no one wants to hear about how well your business did in the fourth quarter when you’re all hanging out at the local comedy club. It’s all about balance.

Ever wondered why the Joker is one of our favorite villains? Because he knew how to balance business and personality.

The beautiful thing about social media, at least in my humble opinion, is that although you may be a professional and an expert in your niche, you still have the opportunity to show people that you are an individual. A real person. Unless your blog’s a diary, you don’t want to spend too much of your time talking about your wife and your kids and your dog and how your car breaks down every other day and how your commute on the subway sucks. But if you can tie it in to a post relevant to your topic, maybe you give people an opportunity to connect with you. Personally. Subconsciously.

But also, don’t talk about your subject as if you’re writing a dissertation. Don’t use a monotonous tone. Don’t be afraid to shake it up and nudge people a little bit to see if they’re paying attention. Keep their interest. Remember that they’re not consuming just your information. They’re consuming your personality too, because you know there’s a damn good chance they could get their information from someone else if they wanted to.

Don’t spend your time being a robot. There are too many other people doing that. Be somebody. Keep it real, homey!

Believe it or not, in high school I was a decent writer. But somewhere along the way I began worrying more about style than substance. Who gives a care about your grammar and punctuation and capitalization if you have nothing to say? No one, that’s who. So now it’s time to break free.

The truth is, I’ve been scared. Scared that I’m going to say or do something that might anger someone and demolish an opportunity. And my fear was making me a robot. I was going through the motions, forfeiting personality so that I could do what I thought was expected. Being a good little worker bee in the worker hive. By trying to please everyone, I’ve impressed no one.

But I can’t do it anymore. I have to let myself shine through.

Doing what everyone else is doing is going to get you nowhere. Your humor, your insight, your voice are going to get you somewhere. You’re an individual, and you’ve got to show it. Balance yourself.

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

– Jedi Master Yoda

Yoda’s always been one of my biggest (and yet smallest) heroes. Okay, so not really — I was looking for any excuse to fit Yoda into a blog post. But Yoda was wise, and he took on the duties of training Luke Skywalker to become a Jedi warrior. And we all know that was no easy task.

But that was a tale that took place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Today, if Luke Skywalker were destined to lead the Rebel Alliance on planet Earth, he’d probably have a blog and a Twitter account and a Facebook fan page to help spread the revolution. And Yoda would be his social media guide.

Of course, Luke, always a whiny little punk, would be scared to jump into the social media jungle. And Yoda would have to hold his hand and walk him through things like he always does.

Are you scared? If so, why? What are you scared of?

Are you scared of sounding stupid? Are you scared of making a fool of yourself? I do that offline on a regular basis. Why should I be afraid of doing it online?

Are you scared you might not quite be an expert on what you want to talk about? Yeah, maybe you’re not right now. But what better way to build a community that grows with you as you learn more about your niche and share what you learn with others?

Are you scared that people will tear you apart? That people are waiting for you to screw up? Yeah, they’re out there. But I don’t think there are as many of those people as you think. It’s been my experience that there are many people online who want to help you. All they ask in return is that you help them too.

Are you scared that if you finally make the effort and fail, you will have no excuse for why you’re not doing something? I’m failing right now. Every day, my blog is not where I want it to be. But every day, I feel myself making progress. Slowly but surely. You can do the same. Come along for the ride. Just beware of bantha fodder.

My personality has gradually evolved through the years. In my early years, I was an extreme introvert. I didn’t mind the company of others as long as their company was somewhere else. Very far away. I was very unsocial. And unfriendly (I don’t mean that I was a rude person, but I was not friendly or easily approachable. There is a difference!)

The other day I was thinking about a change I’ve noticed in myself. I now see myself as very friendly and approachable. And I enjoy the company of others. It’s easier to start conversations with strangers. I’m not going to say that I can walk into a room of 100 people and walk away with 100 new friends. And I have no desire to do that. Being an introvert, I’ve always valued quality of relationships over quantity, and I continue to do that today.

But the point is, I’m not as introverted as I used to be. But I am still an introvert at heart. There is no doubt about that.

I still enjoy time to myself. And I enjoy doing things that I want to do. I like listening to music that I enjoy, not crowdpleasing music like rap and the top 40 hits. Reading is a solitary act, and I do that from time to time. Is there any more introverted act than writing? Writing is so hard to do when you’re interacting with people, and I prefer to be alone when I do it.

But I have changed. And so, the other day when I was thinking about my change, I thought up the term social introvert. Apparently, someone else had too, because it showed up a lot when I searched the term on Google. But I’m not bitter to discover that I’m not as original as I had hoped. I’m happy to discover that I’m not completely crazy. The concept does exist and is already accepted!

I wish I could find the site I’m going to paraphrase from so that I could give credit. I’ve tried with no luck. Anyway. The site basically said that a social introvert enjoys being around people and being social but often needs time alone afterward. To recharge his batteries. The analogy made was related to jogging. You jog and afterward you feel good and you’re glad you did it, but you need time to rest. That’s definitely me. I can socialize and I enjoy doing so, but I definitely need some time to recoup afterward.

I’m glad to have discovered this term. I’ve found a new label for myself. Introvert sounds as if you hate people. But social introvert just sounds so much more…sociable.

Peaceful crowd or angry mob? That depends: are you an introvert or an extrovert?

And so I want to turn this around on you. How do you perceive certain aspects of yourself? Are any of them negative? Is there some way that you can turn that into a positive? We all know that simply relabeling something can make it more attractive. Can you relabel yourself? Just remember to make sure that your labels are honest.

In the past I’ve talked about the importance of being optimistic. But I’ve also talked about the importance of being realistic. I’d like to take an opportunity to build on these views.

I think it’s safe to say that everyone has been in an unfavorable situation. If you haven’t been in one yet, you will be. It’s part of life. Sometimes when we’re in these situations, the only thing that keeps us going is hope. Hope that our situation will change and all will be well.

I’ve done this a lot.

I didn’t enjoy my time in high school. Or middle school. Or elementary school. I couldn’t wait to graduate and go to college. I’d be away from everything that brought me down. Finally.

And then I went to college. I loved the new surroundings and change of environment. I had found my element, a place where I could belong. And then a couple of years into college, I got into a rut. A deep one. And again, I couldn’t wait to graduate and move on to the next big thing.

Fast forward to when I got laid off. I was anxious, always wondering when my break would come. I knew it would all be better once I found a job. And…well, let’s stop at that.

All too often we choose to look ahead. We’re so busy looking ahead that we may be missing the opportunities that are present before our very eyes. Do what you can to make the best out of your situation. Because the next one might not be much better. And if you always need a drastic change to make everything all right, you might not be getting to the root of your discontent.

Remember, your future doesn’t start tomorrow. It starts today.

I asked this question a while back on Facebook and Twitter and was unable to start a discussion, so I figured I would try asking this question on my blog. Is maintaining a LinkedIn account worth the trouble?

I do have a LinkedIn account. And I’ll go ahead and admit that I have not devoted much time and effort to building my brand on the network. The primary reason is that the site feels as if it is geared toward the Baby Boomer generation. It feels more corporate and impersonal, much like a resume. Very few of my contacts are on the site, so that makes it harder to effectively build a network. Although I feel that the site is geared toward the Baby Boomers, Dan Schawbel, who undoubtedly identifies himself as Generation Y, constantly talks about the importance of using LinkedIn. On the flipside, there’s David Meerman Scott, who argues that he doesn’t need LinkedIn because it would steal time he could be using to focus on the areas he’s strongest in. Seth Godin use that same logic to explain why he is not on Twitter.

Obviously, I’m leaning the same as David Meerman Scott. As Scott argues, you don’t want to spread yourself thin across too many networks. Right now, I feel that dividing my time between a blog, Facebook, and Twitter is enough.

Also, as my friend Ben Woodall pointed out while we were discussing this issue, you have to pay for the cool features on LinkedIn. With a free account, you can’t even view the whole profile of someone who is not in your contact list. And even when you do pay, you get access to a limited number of invites and messages every month. Most employers scan Facebook profiles and Tweetstreams of potential employees as it is, so am I really missing out?

Has having a LinkedIn account been beneficial for you? Can you share an experience that justifies paying for the good stuff? Please share!

I am in no way, by any stretch of the imagination, an expert in psychology. But I do know from personal experience that having a positve mindset can have great benefits.

This is on my mind because a recent acquaintance of mine recently joined the ranks of the unemployed. Naturally, she’s very worried. And with good reason.

When I was laid off, the experience was bittersweet. The bitter part was obvious: I’d lost my job and my paycheck, and my savings wasn’t going to last forever. But the sweet part was that I knew where I stood and what direction I had to move in: forward. However, as days turned into weeks which turned into months, the sweetness had disappeared. It was a very stressful time and I was a very stressed person. I began spending too much time consumed with negativity and too little time being productive. I let myself get into a rut that I could not get out of.

My biggest problem was that I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was looking everywhere, I wasn’t focused on one area. I was frantically looking anywhere I could and it didn’t take long to get frustrated.

We must always strive to stay positive. But don’t be a blind optimist, know when to be a realist. If the writing’s on the wall, read it. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. And after you get a new job, continue to stay positive. People like to be around positive folks and who knows where being positive might take you.

Stay focused and don’t let yourself get down. The world is not going to give you a break, so do everything you can to give yourself a chance.

This past Friday, February 12, my wife and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Although we didn’t have the budget to do anything extravagant, we still wanted to do something different and fresh. She came up with the idea of staying at a bed and breakfast and found Etta’s Place in downtown Fort Worth and I immediately fell in love with the idea. I worked in downtown Fort Worth for a little over a year and loved the environment, so it was almost a bit of a homecoming for me. We had a great time at Etta’s and I recommend it to anyone who’s interested in that kind of getaway, but that isn’t what this post is about.

Saturday morning, while having breakfast, I initiated a conversation with the manager. I started by asking her if the business was ever busy. She replied by telling me about the two times of the year that it was not busy. Later in the conversation, I made a comment about people our age (I’m 25, my wife is 22) likely not staying at a bed and breakfast, and the manager told me that I’d be surprised how many people our age patron their establishment.

By having this brief conversation with the manager, I learned that two of my assumptions were wrong. And all it took was willingness to act on my curiosity.

I like talking about people’s jobs and business, even if it has no relation to my current or desired profession. One of my best friends works for an advertising agency in Dallas. He gives me little insights about his day-to-day, and although I’m by no means now an expert of the advertising business, I do feel that I have a better understanding of what goes on.

One of my friends for high school now works in the gaming (gambling) business. His company supplies slot machines to casinos and maintains the machines after the sale. Again, this has nothing to do with anything I’ve ever done, and although I am not an expert in his industry, maybe I can learn something that I can use in my future business adventures.

Some of us read business books and read business blogs to further educate ourselves. But do we asks questions to the people in front of us enough? I’ve discovered that although some people can be difficult to interact with, most people are willing to help and share advice. Besides, people also like talking about themselves and their jobs. And if that brings a little joy to their day, is there any reason you can’t take the chance of learning something new by simply asking questions?