I think we’ve all heard it before: it’s not what you know, but who you know. That’s only part of the equation. It’s all about knowing people who like you.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, chances are that you’ve never asked yourself if you’re a likable person. I know people who believe they’re well-connected because of the number of people they know. But they’re focused on quantity and not quality. You can namedrop all day. But if those people don’t talk about you in a pleasant manner, you’re hurting yourself more than you’re helping.
We all have different personalities and personas. Some people have friendly and inviting personalities. And then there are those who are hard to get along with. Some people seem to pride themselves on being difficult. I personally don’t understand this. Why would you want to have a defense? Why would you not let yourself be likable?
Being likable has its advantages with networking. But it also has advantages with your immediate profession. Let’s face it, you’re going to mess up from time to time. It’s been my experience that if people like you, there’s a good chance they won’t freak out as badly as if they didn’t like you.
But there’s a flipside to likability. You should also try to like as many people as you can.
Friends come in all sizes!
As I said before, we all have different personalities and personas. If we really wanted to, we could find something not to like about every single person we know. Everyone has a quirk that can drive you mad if you let it. But is it worth it? Is it worth getting so upset over? Some people can not let the smallest of differences go and let the pettiest details ruin what could be a great relationship.
I believe I get along fairly well with people and have a healthy variety of friends and colleagues. Most of my associates have very little in common with me. There are very few people who share my interests in music, movies, literature, etc. Sometimes I think about this and wonder why I’m friends with these people. And the answer is this: We get along. And that’s all that should matter.
So allow yourself to like and to be liked. Smile, be pleasant, listen to people. And forgive people if they’re not just like you. Maybe that’s what will make them valuable to you in the future.
